Should I Have Another Baby? Advice for Going from One to Two Kids

If you’re reading this, chances are that you are either pregnant with your second child, or thinking about having a second child. And you’re probably feeling and questioning all kinds of things. ALL THE THINGS. Let me be the first to tell you: whatever you are feeling is NORMAL. Whether or not to grow your family can feel like a bigger decision than having your first, because now it’s not just yours and your partner’s life that will change! You are considering a third little life and the impact on him or her as well. Here’s what you need to know about having another baby.

There is no “right time” for having another baby

Maybe you have had your perfect family planned out for years, but it just didn’t work out the way you envisioned.

Maybe you just don’t know what you want! I would have never planned a ten-year gap between my oldest and youngest (I will literally be parenting FOREVER), but it’s perfect. I love it.

My oldest has matured into a helper and a role model, and my youngest is her biggest fan. No matter what your family structure, no two children in the same family have the same experience. And that’s ok. You’re going to parent your second (or third or tenth) different than you parented your first.  Sure, you have other children competing for your attention, but you’ve also gained wisdom over the years.

Some of those early mistakes you made, aren’t going to happen again. There will always be pros and cons to everything; the number of children that you have and the spacing of those children is no exception!

If you’re anything like me, you’ve already thought of every possible pro and con and the analysis has gotten more paralyzing than helpful.

It’s hard.

I’m not going to lie; going from one to two kids is HARD.  Your sweet little angel, the apple of your eye, is no longer your sole focus.

Having another baby means your first child will be competing for attention, and you are only one person. You can’t please everyone at once.

Gone are the days when your partner can entertain your kiddo while you shower. One parent can’t clean up while the other supervises your child. You’re one-on-one now!

Your parenting game has to step up a few notches. Also, the majority of people in your life often assume that you’ve got this parenting gig down now.

The attention and support showered upon you after the birth of your firstborn is somehow…less. But you know what?

It gets easier before you even realize it.

What cost you close to an hour of your time, 77 brain cells, and 14 shreds of sanity yesterday, costs you less today. And it will cost you even less tomorrow.

IG @payne.lane

What felt impossible on day one becomes possible after getting into a routine. There will always be good days and bad days, in all areas of life, but it gets easier.

Your heart actually grows in size.

When I was expecting my second child, I worried that I couldn’t love another child as much as my first child.

I couldn’t fathom feeling the same depth of love that I had for my first a second time. But love wasn’t added to our home; it was truly multiplied. Just like the Grinch of Whoville, your heart will grow three sizes.

You will be okay, mama. Also, your kiddo(s) will be okay. You can read all that there is to read, and you can listen to (or completely disregard!) any or all of it.

Ultimately, your family structure is between you and your partner. Buckle up and make plans for what YOU believe is best for you!